Apply the Principles to New Fields
Another Old-Timer's Viewpoint
EVEN a quick look at the world today reveals
an endless variety of economic, political
and cultural conditions that are crying for
correction. In too many areas agnosticism,
frustration and cynical brutality are the
order of the day.
Many causes for this grave situation have
been given. Generally speaking, it can be
recognized that these causes all stem from
mankind's tendency to leave God out of his
calculations. Human civilization has lost
its spiritual bearings. The Creator of this
universe based its stability on law and
order. When mankind ignores this divine
basis, the world gets out of joint.
For instance, four years after the cessation
of hostilities, there are no peace treaties
between the major combatants. Nation is
still against nation and race against race
with greed and self-interest governing the
councils of men. Whole countries lie in ruin
while despair fills the hearts of their
people. Mass starvation confronts millions
in Asia. The warfare between capital and
labor goes on with alarming persistence and
there are many, many other situations known
to us all that need courageous corrective
action.
It is probable that any AA who has read this
far has also questioned himself at least
once whether he were reading The A.A.
Grapevine or some other publication. In
AA it is not customary to have our attention
called to the conditions cited above.
Exclusive emphasis is placed on the problem
of alcoholism, recovery from drunkenness
being the first of first things as it should
be for us all for a long time after entering
AA.
YET, it seems to me that with an
increasingly large number of members
accumulating several years of sobriety, the
door should be opened to secondary
considerations which grow in importance as
our lives become reorganized through the AA
Program.
IN this direction, I think, lies the answer
for the restless "old-timer" who no longer
fits the niche he has cut out for himself in
AA, but who is fearful of leaving it because
he has been conditioned against doing so
through the years. This conditioning has
come about not through limitations of the AA
Program, but through popular misconceptions
of the Program.
Traditionally "No AA group or member should
ever, in such a way as to implicate AA,
express any opinion on outside controversial
issues--particularly those of politics,
alcohol reform, or sectarian religion. The
Alcoholics Anonymous groups oppose no one.
Concerning such matters they can express no
views whatever."
It is impossible to exaggerate the
importance of this attitude. It refers to AA
groups or to individuals speaking for AA;
however not to individuals speaking and
acting in their own names. Yet, we
frequently hear in meetings, "We are not
reformers," or "We are only concerned with
alcoholism," or, "There are no evangelists
here," all stated in such terms that the
individual is a hardy one, indeed, who would
care to admit that he has an urge to apply
his new kind of thinking for the benefit of
mankind in general. This occurs in spite of
the (oft forgotten) fact that our 12th Step
specifically provides for us to "practice
these principles in all our affairs."
As individuals our old-timers must overcome
the conviction that has been instilled in
them--that it is undesirable to be concerned
about the evils in the world. When the time
comes after years of frequent regular
attendance at meetings that the content of
the talks holds no novelty; when length of
sobriety comes to be an actual barrier
preventing full accord with new members;
when a chronic restlessness sets in (as it
does in many cases) then is the time, I
think, when the old-timer should look for
new fields in which to apply his hard won
principles of honesty, humility and
sacrificial giving. He should do this in the
role of a seasoned, useful member of
society, not as an AA. I am not advocating
that anyone break off his AA association,
but that the restless, mature AA should make
some other thoroughly worthwhile activity
his chief outlet.
AN attempt was recently made on Long Island
to provide an answer for the man we're
talking about through an experimental
meeting similar to a regular meeting but
emphasizing the spiritual and minimizing
case histories. One AA member and one
non-alcoholic, speaking at each meeting,
attempted to provide material for spiritual
growth beyond that available at ordinary
meetings. Attendance fell off after several
weeks and eventually the meeting was
discontinued because it did not fully meet
the need. To many it was not sufficiently
different from a regular meeting to justify
its existence. Some of us believe that the
required step is to participate in the work
of an existing outside organization that is
doing a real job.
There are many avenues of usefulness open to
men and women alike which will benefit
greatly from an influx of new life that
regenerated alcoholics can bring to them.
The acceptance of new horizons by individual
members of AA will permit continued
spiritual development on their part and will
at the same time bring to fruition the full
promise of AA, which has been called the
most vital spiritual movement of the
century.
YESTERDAY. . .TODAY AND TOMORROW
THERE are two days in every week about which
we should not worry, two days which should
be kept free from fear and apprehension.
One of these days is YESTERDAY with its
mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders,
its aches and pains. YESTERDAY has passed
forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world cannot bring back
YESTERDAY. We cannot undo a single act we
performed; we cannot erase a single word we
said. YESTERDAY is gone.
The other day we should not worry about is
TOMORROW with its possible adversaries, its
burdens, its large promise and poor
performance. TOMORROW is also beyond our
immediate control.
TOMORROW'S sun will rise, either in splendor
or behind a mask of clouds--but it will
rise. Until it does, we have no stake in
TOMORROW for it is as yet unborn.
This leaves only one day--TODAY--. Any man
can fight the battles of just one day. It is
only when you and I add the burdens of those
two awful eternities--YESTERDAY and TOMORROW
that we break down.
It is not the Experience of TODAY that
drives men mad--it is remorse or bitterness
for something which happened YESTERDAY and
the dread of what TOMORROW may bring.
LET US, THEREFORE, LIVE BUT ONE DAY AT A
TIME.
A Toast to Our Future
Since getting sober eighteen years ago, I
have seen many changes in AA, at least in
Western Massachusetts. The growing number of
Twelve Step programs, the proliferation of
treatment centers, and intensive media
attention with the consequent increase in
public awareness of alcohol and drug
addiction, have had a definite impact on our
AA society, on how we see and share our
experience, strength, and hope.
At meetings today we commonly hear terms
like codependent, poly-addicted,
cross-addicted, alco-addict, enabling,
dysfunctional family, and so forth.
When I was new in AA back in the Ice Age you
talked about drinking and falling down and
smashing up cars and your AA talk ended more
or less abruptly at the point at which you
finally entered AA, put the plug in the jug,
and commenced to live a sober life. I
remember speaking at a Chicopee meeting in
the early days where all the old-timers sat
in the front row with folded arms and sober
stares. I wasn't feeling too secure about
myself. But then it wasn't really required.
Nowadays people are better informed about
alcoholism and not so dependent for total
direction on the oldest old-timer in the
room. Some of the talk we hear from the
podium today would have brought down the
wrath of the elders in the old days. Often
today we have counselors but no sponsors;
aftercare but no home group. Now and then we
hear a little of what a friend calls
"psychobabble," such as "primary and
secondary alcoholic. . .passive/aggressive
personality. . .group dynamics. . ." and so
forth. New people speak blandly of
"treatment" and "group" and "alco-logues,"
family script, adult child, dysfunctional
family.
Sometimes I feel a little put off by this
upsurge of recovery buzz words. I wonder if
we are really keeping the focus on
alcoholism, my disease, at meetings of
Alcoholics Anonymous. Not long ago at my
home group a speaker was talking about being
from a dysfunctional family. He went into
some detail about the deleterious effects
his father's drinking had on his emotional
well-being as a child. An older member
sitting next to me was doing a lot of
squirming and finally grumbled into my ear
under his breath, "For Chrissake, doesn't
anybody puke anymore?" When I was new we
didn't have dysfunctional families. The
speaker would simply say, "My old man was a
drunk," and let it drop.
Sometimes I think I would like to hear less
about being self-assertive and more about
being of service. Less about deflected anger
and more about ego deflation at depth. It
seems that where we used to talk about the
need for humility, today we talk about the
need for self-esteem. Where we spoke of our
old ways we now talk about old tapes. Active
listening was keeping an open mind. Enabling
was called minding your own business.
Sometimes I am afraid that the new
"me-first" mentality, with its strong
emphasis on taking charge of your life, is
slowly eroding a lot of what I learned about
living sober in the late sixties.
But then I remember that the Big Book talks
about fear being a corrosive and pervasive
thread that runs through the fabric of my
life, and I ask: What is it that I am really
afraid of? Maybe I'm just afraid that the
way I got the message is changing. Not the
message itself. Only the words used to
express it.
Maybe I'm afraid of becoming obsolete. A lot
of older members that I got sober with don't
go to meetings as often as they used to
because, they say, "AA is changing." Maybe
one of the challenges of continued sobriety
is to change with it.
I have been to Al-Anon and Adult Children
and benefited from both programs immensely.
They do not compete--they complete each
other in my recovery. But when speaking at
meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous I think
it's important for me to remember that I am
an alcoholic. If I forget that, it won't
much matter what kind of a family I come
from.
So I do have some qualms when I hear a
speaker waxing Freudian about his secondary
alcoholism or his passive/aggressive
alcoholic subconscious. But then I look
around at meetings and see all the young
people getting and staying sober. Groups get
larger and new groups sprout like mushrooms.
And the basic message is still the same,
"This is the way to a faith that works."
There is a candor and a warmth to the
sharing that I don't remember hearing when I
was new. There is a freedom of expression
that covers more generously the broad and
varied expanse of human experience, one I
think that ties us with the rest of mankind
in a way that was unthinkable back in the
podium-pounding days of "Die, you bum, but
don't drink." We seem to reach out from
alcoholism, the family disease, to a
spiritual connection with the family of man
that does not encourage us to use the label
"alcoholism" to explain away our humanity.
We can be grateful for the new awareness of
alcoholism and that there are so many
treatment centers ready and willing to help
where years ago we were denied hospital beds
because they were needed for "sick people."
This member wishes to propose a sober toast
to the future of our Fellowship, mindful of
the now largely spiritual presence of those
tough, plain-talking AA's who had the words
of life for me when so much of my life still
lay before me. Here's to us! May we always
take our primary purpose lovingly with us
into any enlargement of our awareness of
this still cunning, baffling, and powerful
spiritual malady. We can make wise use of
the expanded understanding of our disease,
provided we never forget Tradition Five:
"Each group has but one primary purpose--to
carry its message to the alcoholic who still
suffers." |
